Dear ladies and gentlemen,
I have come to hate marriages.
i was never prone to marriage in the first place.
being someone who never dates, nor be confessed to, it just reasonable for me not ever have the thoughts of marriage. and with my older sisters got married during i was very young, i was never interested in the whole process.
But reading manga since young is different. Despite not having the thoughts of getting married, the picture of ideal love, and soulmates are still written on my mind. The fact that 'the one' will eventually come soon to me, caused me to fantasize ideal love whenever i feel attracted to someone.
Similarly goes to him.
Do you know i have become bridesmaid to many people previously that the whole process is something at the back of my mind. Hence, to know you finally gotten married, doesnt make things better but i have become very sad and cant help but felt stupid of myself.
How does a marriages that seems so happy can feel so hurtful to this pitiful heart?
How does a marriages, that seems to be on schedule for everyone but keep delayed at my timeline?
what goes wrong?
If i know you never once for me, then i shall not spend imprinting all these funny ideas into my head in the first place.
What if i confess in the first place? would it make any differences?
i dont know.
what i know, i have come to hate wedding and marriages.
As the feeling of looking forward to it doesnt make everything seem better, then maybe hating it will make it less hurtful for me.
at the end of the day, it was just me.
sitting with me, and this overwhelmed of love inside me.
