no its not about partner, but an actual friend.
ever since university i have been keeping my circle small. i made friends with everyone but only few know the actual me.
when your circle is small, you cant help but recognise the pattern in changes and how establishing boundaries have really making things look different and obvious.
today i want to talk about two prominent friend i have in my life.
The X and Y.
The X is a friend that i made since i was 11 years old and remains my best friend till now. we separates ways but eventually always have certain moments where we update each other life and then the next day, will moving on with our own life.
but the thing is, i am never X's first one call away. she will always reach out for guys she met at dating apps for help or someone a guy that have long ago vanished. which is frustrating. kinda pissed off like am i that unreliable? cant i be there when you need help? and i always be the last one to opt too. which make me wonder, is this what friends supposed to be?
and then we have Y.
Y is a friend that we once confronted each other and eventually made up and now, become close. but ever since we finish university, Y seems to have it hard at her job which make her very distant to keep on contact too. So i tried to tolerate but unreply messages with similar reasons multiple times is just not ok. i even tried to reply as soon as you reply so we can continue the conversation. but nowadays, it seems like we are not conversing anymore which made me mad. but the most infuriating is, you still update your socmed with your life. why cant you spend that time to reply?
So i decide to ignore you. ignore your call, ignore your text and just see how far will you go to contact me back. and along the way i saw you had hard time at work. similar with X, your first reach out is social media.
Im done with this kind of 'friend'ship.
0111
05032024
