hi there
Writing this because i am just curious of everyone's love life and wondering if there any left for me to feel?
Ever since i was little, i always have the dream to be loved. sadly, till now, i have been loving but never loved by anyone. i never really care and just thought "ah the time will come." and then now i realised, i was laid back too much. was i being influenced too much by others saying? but then why my heart have been hurting and why i have been crying helplessly for someone that dont even see me as woman? what went wrong in the way i was growing up? what stage i misslook? which part i forgot? tell me. someone just tell me.
As much as i wonder how love feels like i hate how my heart felt so much pain and sad after knowing someone have their own pair even before i manage to take any steps forward. sometimes i hope i can just take my heart out and program it into my liking and have the ability to become attracted to someone that i actually have a chance with and not just someone who 2 days later will leave me and make me feel in a deep pain for a few weeks.
At times, i wonder how precious is this feeling of love is. Why it wins over every movie and drama i watch? how can it make someone so weak and strong at the same time? why? i wonder why people keep their love and afraid to shows? i wonder if they afraid of the pain later?
All human being are funny. How can they change their heart for other and how can they open their hearts and give out theirs so easily to others? how they do that? how they know that is the right time to finally give out their heart? how when what which there are so many questions but i know no one knows the exact answer except Him.
Being in this situation make me crave for love.
Crave for being hold.
Crave to receive all emotions and also received at the same time.
Living and become attracted to someone, i have these thoughts of being with them all the time which ironically my heart felt deepest sad without the other person doing anything. Sensitve or desperate? i dont know and how to think about this is just painful.
Wish i know the reason of all these and the most important part, i hope i can.
