assalamualaikum and hello
and no, im not married, im not making an expected return now. just something happen and i feel like want to express this in writing.
marriage seems to be one of the chapter that everyone dreams of. especially when you are young, protected, all you can dream of future will be being with someone that is called as your partner. scary enough, that perception seems to differ when im grow older. far from never being in a relationship with someone, the concept of marriages seems like a concept that is consistently scaring for me.
growing up, till now, i have listened to many confessions from people around me how they have problem in their relationships. starting from school boyfriends and girlfriends, to engagement, married and now in the peak of divorce. i have no experience in love relationship but my emotion is full. my eyes and ears are filled with multiple stories about a guy that i never spend time together to the extend guy that i never meet. One things i observed, people change when they are in relationship. which i dont mind coz its not effecting my life too much except for the huge realisation and being left after not needed.
to be honest, so far in general, boyfriend relationship and fiancee relationship are so much better than the married one. because when you know you are no longer sustain the same love, or one of you breaks the character, its time to let go. and there wasnt much on the plate for you to juggle. but different when you are married where there is sacred connection established between both of you and cutting it off seems not easy especially if you are a woman. i dont know how ones should feel when they are relationship or how they should be treated, but i know the concept human right of the need to treat other with dignity and respect and how gender doesnt decrease your position as a human in this universe.
The woman, they know, the relationship of marriage is not easy and how if one decide to get marry meaning they have achieve the highest achievement in life- to be married. and sucks how marriage were depicts to use when we were young, how it full of rainbows and colours but actually it just another journey that can either be a war against your opponent or a war with your teammates. no one has solid answer unless you enter that phase of un-easy breakthrough of marriage.
maybe that is why many married woman who got marry will spread their husband kindness to others. the reason why they tell people how good their husband is than them, how they have chosen the right person in their life, and how wise the man is.
maybe they are just scared that one day the world gonna know how they regret to be with them and now its hard to break such bond.
i shall hold no position to judge them. as im not the one who sail the boats. but please, dont force me to follow and agreed with your sailing when i know there is another path for the same destination. Now, i have power. power to choose who the person that i should be with together for a long time. maybe it wasnt fast like you. but i dont want to be you. i want to create path in my own way, the way i believe suits me, the way i believe is right, the way i believe destined for me. dont expect me to be pity for you when you choose to get married. dont force your husband view on me because im not his another wife to break. i am me. i can choose. i am not you.
xx
0206
16/7/24
